Dreamer Girl
by KannaNakata
Summary: Suzuna Otsuka, Dreamer Girl, who's only family is her grandmother, lives in a small town. She meets a boy named Natsume, and they connect, telling each other their stories and learning more about themselves in the process.
1. Clearing

_The air is awfully clear  
The calm before a storm_

_What do those people really want to know  
With seemingly kindness  
Hiding a sharp knife of curiosity  
Behind their gentle looking eyes?_

To tell you the truth, I was never one to be completely caring. I thought ignorance was bliss. I never tried to meddle into other's affairs. It was okay as long as I was happy in my own little world of thoughts and silly dreams. Listening to a sad melody or one where the lyrics made me feel like crying, seeing how long I could withstand the tears from rolling out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I found refuge in pretty things, like the dew on a carefully woven spider web or the newly fallen snow glistening in the sun from the clear winter sky. As you can tell, my world merely existed on things that seemed unreal. I was nothing but a dreamer. But, I was sick. That's one thing I couldn't lie about, it was obvious everywhere I went. It was the only 'real' thing my body could register.

I stood in my room, staring out the clear, glass window into the garden of my grandmother's estate. My reflection shone right back at me, as I frowned in disapproval at my disheveled, blonde hair. My spring green eyes looked dull after I'd stayed up all night. People always told me I was beautiful, much to my dismay. Even though it may seem odd, I didn't want to be noticed as pretty. I wanted to be normal, or even below that. I smiled quickly, but my face once again turned into a frown as my grandma walked into my room, yelling in a shrill voice.

"You were up all night, weren't you Suzuna?" She said, more like yelled. Even though she was always so mean, I knew she only acted this way because she cared. "Yes, ma'am. I just couldn't stop thinking of the most beautiful scene I've ever encountered that I saw last night. The moon was shining a bright white although it was covered by the clouds." She 'hmphed' and left the room, obviously still angry. I checked to see if she was gone. She was leaving my building and walking off the the main house. "Alone, finally. I muttered. And forced myself to sleep, only to see the dream I was hoping for.

When I awoke, the afternoon sky met my eyes, which had to work to adjust themselves to the changing light. Ah, summer. Such a pretty season. The people of my city have forgotten the coldness of the snow, as everyone tries their best to beat the heat. I dressed myself in a white summer dress, and grabbed my umbrella to keep the heat off. As for shoes, I wore flip-flops, so I could listen to the noise they made. I opened the sliding glass door and stepped into the almost overwhelming heat of the garden. "It's so hot!" I yelled, wishing I could have something cold with me. I quickly opened the umbrella, putting it over my body and resting it on my body. The shade helped, but I couldn't find any shelter from the humidity. I set off for my destination, the forest.

I stopped in a secluded spot, looking over the side of my umbrella. I liked looking at the scenery that showed under my tilted umbrella... It was so pretty. I could see the sun through the cracks in the foilage. There were wild flowers everywhere, so I was always careful not to step on any, which proved to be hard because of the mesmerizing beauty of it all. Whenever I wanted to be alone, I came here, a place far from the outside world, where I could lay down, and think. But today, my thinking was cut short, due to a husky, male voice coming not far from where I lay.

"Hm, I wonder which way I should go..." the man said, obviously talking to himself. He seemed confused, probably lost. Judging by the sound of his voice, he didn't seem very old, maybe around my age? I was curious. I got up from my comfortable position and went closer to the voice. I knew he was coming this way, as the voice got louder and louder. I could hear a "I think I see a clearing where the forest is less dense.." and a "Tch." along with a noise of him stumbling. The voice was dangerously close now. As the boy walked into _my _area, I was finally able to see the face that matched the voice. His black hair was long, not like a girl's, but it reached only under his ears, and his bangs stopped before his eyes. Those eyes were beautiful. What a strange color of reddish brown they were... I didn't notice it at first, but we had been staring at each other for the longest time until I spoke, embarrassed.

"W-what's your name?" I spoke, choking on my words. His expression was priceless. His eyes were bright as he didn't look away from mine. "Natsume Hyuuga." He added a smirk this time, his eyes softening. He didn't even bother to ask mine? "I see, well nice to meet you Natsume. My name is Suzuna Otsuka." I probably sounded annoyed, but, well, I _was _annoyed at the rude boy in from of me. "You can call me whatever you want though." I added. His smirk got even bigger as he looked me over and said "Okay, Polka Dots." I was confused. I looked down to find my dress had been blown by the wind, revealing my, yes, polka dot underwear. I blushed madly at this. I clenched my fist at first, but then relaxed it. I knew I shouldn't start fights when we just met... "So, Natsume..." I started and was rudely interrupted by his voice saying "Yes, _Polka dots_?" I sighed, controlling my anger. "I've never seen you, are you new here, if so, what school will you be going into?" I talked quickly, so he couldn't interrupt me. In return, he said, "Yeah, I'm living in the dorms of alice academy, where I'll be going to school." I noticed a bored tone in his voice. "Oh... I'll be going there too. It's also my first year there, but I've lived in this town with my grandma for awhile. I'm going to move into the dorms, though." The reason why I didn't stay home was pretty much because my grandmother was always yelling... "You live with you grandma? What about your parents?" He said, for the first time showing some real emotion. He sounded concerned. I had trouble holding back my tears as I looked him straight in the eyes.

"They died."

**This is my first gakuen alice fanfic... please review!**


	2. Maybe it's not so bad

_Wasted education  
Celebrating immitation  
Misplaced admiration  
Speaking for a generation_

"What?" asked Natsume, a burning fire in his eyes. He was so surprised, I could see it in his eyes. "They died in a car accident, both of them. They were on their way to the hospital, because I was about to be born. They both died, but I lived." I managed to choke out, crying the whole time. I was sure he would say something mean like "_Why're you telling me this?" _or _"Why should I care?" _But he looked at me with those soft, burning eyes. "It wasn't your fault, you know." I stopped crying then. I looked up at him, my face still wet with my tears. "It was. It's my fault they even left that day." I said subtly. "No, you're wrong. They were _happy _that you were going to be born. How could it be your fault? Your parents don't blame you, I know it. I'm sure they wouldn't want you to think that either." He smiled an encouraging smile, and looked up at the sky. I considered what he said. He was right. They wouldn't want me to think that. It was just something unfortunate that happened. I realize that now. Maybe this boy wasn't so bad... he has some nice points too. "Thank you, Natsume." Is all that I said to him. He got up, waving at me. "Bye, Polka Dots. Don't think I'm going to take pity on you just because your parents aren't here." He left before I could muster up my strength to say something back to him. I take that back. I hated Natsume Hyuuga. With a sigh and one more look at the scenery, I left to go home and pack my stuff.

A few days later-

I was sitting in a taxi with my grandmother. She kept a stern face as she talked to me about the asteemed Alice Academy, which I will be going to and living in for the whole school year. "Your boxes are already in your room. Here's the keycard for your room, and ask for a map when you get there. This place is huge. Come home whenever you want to." She handed me the keycard and a list of different instructions. We slowed down as we neared a huge, fenced off area. It had many buildings inside of it. "We're here." stated the taxi driver. I wanted to say "Obviously." but I didn't seeing that I'd get yelled at by grandmother. I got out of the taxi, saying "Bye, I'll miss you." She didn't even say anything, closing the car door swiftly and they left me there. I stopped at the first building, getting a map. As I was leaving, I looked around. This place was nearly all concrete. No pretty trees or flowers around. It would be torcher...

I stepped into my dorm which I would be sharing with two other people. I was happy seeing that all of my stuff was already neatly place in my room. I wouldn't have to decorate it at all now, saves me the hard work! I heard a knock on my bedroom door. It was probably one of my dormmates. "Come in!" I yelled excited. In stepped a boy with a familiar face. Natsume Hyuuga. He noticed the distate on my face. "Seem's we'll be living together now, won't we, Polka." He smirked. My excitedness shattered as he teased me. "I guess we will."

The front door opened and slammed as another boy's voice yelled "Natsume, where are you? I brought us some pizza!" Natsume answered, "Back in the third room, Ruka. Come meet our new _dormmate_." The way he said "dormmate" made me scared. The boy named Ruka put all of his bags on the table and came to meet me. He held his hand out. "Nice to meet you.." He paused, wanting to know my name. "Suzuna Otsuka. Pleased to meet you too. You must be Ruka Nogi, right? I'm happy to meet a friendly face." I smiled, taking his hand and shaking it. Natsume frowned. "The pizza's getting cold." He walked off to eat some, with both Ruka and I following. "So, your room's ready, Suzuna?" Ruka asked. "Yeah, the movers did all that." I looked at Natsume who was shoving a huge piece of pizza into his mouth. "What?" Darn, he noticed. "Pig." I responded. "Atleast I'm not lazy. I put all my stuff in my room. And I wouldn't be talking, Miss-I-had-4-pieces-of-pizza." I was appalled. "You counted!" I yelled at him, tomato red. Mmmm tomatoes. "So you did have four..." he smirked. Ruka on the otherhand was just watching, and decided to cut in. "Who cares! It's pizza. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to see Hotaru." He gathered his things and left. "That was fast. By the way, who's Hotaru?" I wondered. "His girlfriend, duh, stupid." he said, like he was talking -very rudely- to a child. It wasn't that obvious... Still, I thought he was nice. Kind of princely, too. "Oh, and don't treat me like I'm stupid! Believe it or not, I'm really smart." He looked at me, like I was lying. "Yeah, right. We'll see about that later when your entrance test score comes up."

The next day was the first day of school. I was crushed when I learned Natsume and I had the same classes. "Are you kidding me? This is _so _unfair..." I sighed. "What are you talking about, Polka Dots. I'm sure you've already fallen for me." He drawled, smirking hugely. "Uh, yeah. I don't think so. You're WAY too full of yourself, Natsume." I got all of my books and pushed them swiftly into my bag. We walked to class together, much to my dismay. It would probably be like this everyday. After an awkward and silent walk to class, we entered the math room. "The entrance exam scores are up there." Natsume pointed to a wall, where a couple of papers were hung up. We walked over to the board. When we got there, his mouth hung open. I'd gotten a perfect 100%, while he got 97% "See, Natsume. I'm _smart_." I said in his usual tone. He scoffed, trying to hide his laughter. "Mhm, you're very _smart._" He mimicked me. The teacher got the class's attention, as everyone quieted down and went to their seats. Natsume and I just happened to have to sit by eachother. Really, what is with this school! It's like they know I can't stand the guy. "Class. My name is Jinno-sensei, and I am your math teacher. He reminded me of my grandmother. I sighed loudly. Math class officialy sucks. Right away he started with complicated math problems.

At lunch, I sat with Natsume and Ruka. I really had to get some girl friends... but for now, these dormmates will do. "So, Ruka, where's Hotaru?" I asked suddenly. He replied with a shrug. "She's probably busy getting money or something." Natsume said, bored. "Hey! Natsume what's that supposed to mean." Ruka yelled, not really angry. "Just saying, she really likes money." I laughed at their conversation. "I want to meet her!" I yelled when they finished fighting. "Okay, I think she has English class with you guys. Tell her you're my dormmate. She'll also want to meet you." I smiled, finally meeting Hotaru!

Science and Social Studies went along with nothing but the ordinary happening. In English class, the teacher was extremely weird. If I didn't know better I'd say he was gay, or pretending to be a girl. "Hello class!" the man's voice was enthusiastic. "I'm Narumi-sensei! I'll be your teacher for the school year, I hope we have fun together! Now, any questions?" Well, he talks fast. A girl with short black hair, which, by the way, was messy and looked like she just got out of bed, and shining purple eyes raised her eyes. The teacher looked at a piece of paper and asked "Yes, Hotaru Imai-san?" So this was Hotaru. She seems nice. "Are you gay?" Everyone opened their mouths in disbelief. I could hear them whispering. "She actually asked...!" a girl whispered loudly. I laughed at her comment. Of couse, everyone was thinking the same thing, but no one was going to ask. This girl had guts. Serious guts, seeing that she asked so bolding and blandly. Narumi chuckled at this. "No no." He made hand movements as to dismiss their thoughts. "Everyone just thinks that because of how pretty I am. It's okay to laugh, I get that a lot." That's when the room was overflown with laughs. Even Natsume had a smile tugging on his lips.

As we were leaving, I caught up with Hotaru. "Hey, Hotaru." I said, grinning. "Why are you smiling like that? Doesn't it hurt your face?" Uhm... well, not as nice as I thought she'd be. "Uh, not really. By the way, I'm Ruka's dormmate." Her eyes lit up and she smiled back at me. "Oh, sorry. I thought you were just some random person. What's your name? Any friend of Ruka's is a friend of mine." There's her kindness. "I'm Suzuna. Where were you at lunch today?" I asked, wondering if Natsume had been right. "I was getting some money." Holy cow! He was right. "Hahaha. Natsume said you'd be doing that." I laughed nervously. "Natsume's actually talking? He usually doesn't. Must be in a good mood." That confused me. He never misses a chance to tease _me. _We both laughed and walked off towards my dorm, only to walk in on the guys watching tv.

"Oh, hey Polka." Natsume said, not looking away from the Tv. Ruka walked up to Hotaru and kissed her cheek, saying "Hey, Hotaru, come on in." They both blushed. I giggled and left to go into my room. I stared out the window, happy to be getting a room with a slightly good view. The sky was getting darker. The sun had already been hidden behind a hills as it was becoming night time. It was breathtaking. I really thought I wouldn't see any pretty things here. I sighed intently and began thinking about a fantasy story, watching the sky fade into darkness. Maybe it won't be so bad after all, I mean, this is so beautiful. I hope it's like this everyday. And, I mean, I can leave whenever I want to. I turned up the volume on my mp3 player and looked in even closer. 


	3. Nightmare and my new Diary

_My tears are like the quiet drift  
Of petals from some magic rose;  
And all my grief flows from the rift  
Of unremembered skies and snows._

I think, that if I touched the earth,  
It would crumble;  
It is so sad and beautiful,  
So tremulously like a dream. 

Those dreams that I always looked forward to, hoping to see something unreal and mystical that could never truly happen to anyone like me. When those dreams are nightmares, I seem to lose all hope. Because, my dreams are what keeps me afloat. I waited for sleep to come, wanting to be serverely overwhelmed by the inconspicious beauty of my dreams.

A nightmare. I was in a car with my parents, whom I only knew from pictures and videos. We were talking animatedly about what we were going to do over the weekend. Everyone was having so much fun. My dad turned around to look at me, only for a swift second. And, then the world went black. The only sounds were the metalic screech of metal hitting metal, the tires squeling as they came to a fatal stop, and my mother's screaming. The world suddenly came back into color. I was in a bright, white hospital room. All around me nurses were whispering amongst themselves. "Poor child, her parents are gone." and, "What should we do? It's going to be hard to tell her. I sure don't want to be the one!" A doctor came in. He was a man with short, brown hair and cerulean eyes to match. He had a tall stature, looming over me. I was comforted by the nice look on his face, though. "I'm happy to see you're awake." He said cheerfully, in a voice I didn't recognize at all. We exchanged smiles and shook eachother's hand, mine attached to an IV. "You survived a pretty bad car accident, you know? Your car slammed right into a Semi full of oil. It's a miracle you survived and are in such great health." That made me utterly happy. If I was okay, my parents were bound to be fine, too. "Your parents, though. They weren't so lucky. They died on the spot. It was all your fault. You killed them." I was horrified. I screamed loudly. It was my fault. All my fault.

I woke up to the sound of my door slamming open and a loud scream. Mine. "Are you okay?" It was Natsume. He was actually worried. "Y-yeah." I said in a daze. "Just a nightmare, that's all." He didn't seem to buy it, sighing and looking at me. "You can tell me about it tomorrow." He said in his bored tone, then sauntered out of the room, clearly very tired. I too went back to sleep. This time, I didn't dream at all.

The next morning was Saturday. I decided to leave earlier than usual to go shopping for food and clothes. I put on my usual white sundress and flip-flops. Carrying my umbrella with me, I left the dorms and headed for the shopping mall. After I got everything I needed -random foods, junk food, ingredients, clothes, and shoes- I went to a 100 Yen store, just for fun. I saw a beautiful diary. It had clouds all over it, puffy white ones. I decided to buy it, and went up to the store clerk. "You have a good eye, Miss. This book is the only one of this kind that we bought. I'm happy someone liked it, it's not the the usual kind of thing someone would buy." An older man said. He reminded me of what I've heard about my father. Kind. He even looked like him, short brown hair and Hazel eyes. "Thanks. It caught my eye as I turned the corner." I smiled at him. He handed me my bag and I walked out of the store. "Thank you! Come again." He yelled after me.

The first thing I did when I got back to my dorm was put everything away in the cupboards. I noticed Natsume was sitting on the couch in front of the Tv watching some sort of sport, but I couldn't tell what it was. "So.." He started. I suddenly remembered saying that I'd tell him about my dream. "What was your dream about? Was it really _that _bad?" Meanie. I put down everything I was doing, I was almsot done anyways. Ruka would probably put the rest away. I sat on the floor next to the couch. "My parents and I were in a car. My dad turned to look at me as I was talking, and we hit a huge Semi full of oil. The noises were so loud, it made my ears pound. I 'woke up' in a hospital room, where the doctor told me that they both died. He also said that it was my fault they died." I wasn't looking at him, but I could tell he was looking at me. He sighed, not in a sad way, but in a way like he was talking to someone really stupid. "Haven't I told you? It's not your fault. Don't worry." On this I looked at him. Now _he _was looking away. We were interrupted by Ruka, who woke up and went directly into the kitchen, putting away all of the groceries that were in the bags. I quietly said, "You aren't that bad sometimes, Natsume." He smirked at inch closer to my face. "I wish I could say the same about you, _Polka Dots." _He always had to ruin it, hm? I got up from my spot, blushing, and ran into my room. Opening up to the diary's first page, I wrote:

_Dear Diary,_

_Suzuna speaking. Alice Academy isn't so bad. The teachers are nice -well, except for Jin Jin-, and I have a few friends named Sumire, Koko, Ruka, and Hotaru. My enemy you ask? Natsume Hyuuga. He always teases me when it's supposed to be something serious. It really irks me. Last night before I went to sleep, I saw the most beautiful sunset I've ever set my eyes on. To tell you the truth, it reminded me of Natsume's eyes. A burning red color, almost indescribable. Not that I like him or anything! Just saying... Who'd ever like that mean, rude, annoying, bratty, cocky, stupid guy! I'm starting to wonder. What's real, and what's fantasy. It all seems mixed together right now. Especially after that terrible dream I had. I'd like all things to be beautiful. That's all I want to see. Even if I'd have to be alone forever, with me being the only person in the whole entire world. I wouldn't care. I don't need anyone but myself. That's how it'll always be. Summer's dwindling down, and soon it will be 't is so strange how it can suddenly become freezing weather after such a warm, embracing season? In fall, the cold seeps into the very middle of your bones, chilling you from the inside out. Not like winter, where you soon become used to the cold that engulfs your body. I will try my best to live throught tomorrow, and once again pour my intricate feelings over the pages of this book._


	4. Cut?

_I hurt myself today _

_To see if I still feel _

_I focus on the pain _

_The only thing that's real _

_The needle tears a hole  
The old familiar sting _

_Try to kill it all away _

_But I remember everything _

I was dreaming. Dreaming of a beautiful sunset, the sun blocked out by a woman. She was beautiful. I felt like I knew her from somewhere. She had long, copper hair that fell to below her waist, and her eyes were the exact same color. I noticed tears falling for her swollen eyes. I wanted to, atleast, wipe her tears away, but when I tried, my body wouldn't move. She kept crying, her tears soaking into the frozen snow below her. All I could do was watch. I could feel the burning pain of the ice freezing my own cheeks. It was so painful and so sad. "It's a promise." I wonder whose words those were. They seemed too far away to be my own. Yes. It's a promise, and will always be a promise just between us. So, don't cry. It'll be alright. The dream and the sunset fade away to a different shade.

Fall. A season of cold that seemed to exist within your own body. The town was waiting for the season of snow to approach. I liked catching the tiny snowflakes that fell from the sky in the palm of my tiny hand, seeing how fast they'd melt against my heat. The leaves are turning all shades of red, orange, and yellow. They drift off the tress like cherry blossom petals. They fall on the cold ground, meeting their demise when they are raked up and burned. To me, that kind of fate is sad, but I'm they would be be happy to shine with all their beauty moments before death. It makes me somewhat happy when I think about it, how strong they are. Like the moon which shines brighter than even the sun on some days, hiding all of it's scars. So nostalgic, yet, so beauiful.

My dreams aren't as happy as they used to be. I wonder why. They lack the beauty and the emotion of someone who's cheerful. I can't help but feel lost. Lost in a world where beauty doesn't exist. A world where I don't belong. I longed for something beautiful, something red, something white, and something pitch black. I wanted to be alone. To spend the day in silence. A certain kind of silence that makes you want to scream. A world where everything is void. A red flower. Long, white-blonde hair carressing my face as the wind blows. A dark, midnight sky, the stars rwinkling forever and ever. It never ends. That's my fantasy. I used to pray to god, so he would grant me that one wish. Now, I don't believe in magic. I don't think god exists. If you want something, you have to work. That's how it is, in such an ugly world.

I walked into the kitchen. Searching for something sharp. A knife. I grabbed it and sped off into my room, locking the door and turning the lights off behind me. I turned my mp3 player on as loud as it could go, and slowly place the knife on my wrist. I push down, sliding it to the right. So this is what they call cutting? That's such a stupid word for something like this. But, this kind of pain feels _real. _I can finally tell the difference between my dreams and my reality. I'll do this more often. In my dark, cold world where it's always midnight. The red blood dripping down my arm. My white skin feeling the pain. The dark room covers it all. And the music blocks me from the outside. It's my world, inside this world.

I put on a long sleeved jacket to cover up my arm, full of deep cuts and small scratches. It was cold outside anyways. We don't have school for a couple of days, too. I can relax for a while. Natsume looks at me. "What's up? What were you doing in

your room, couldn't you hear me knocking." He knocked? I hadn't heard. "I was doing some work. My mp3 player was on, sorry." He seemed convinced by this. Good. He didn't have to know. No one had to know. "What're you doing today? Hotaru and Ruka asked me if we wanted to go roller skating with them." He frowned a bit. I bet he really didn't have a thing for roller skating. I laughed, feeling truly happy instead of being depressed. "I want to go! Let's go with them, okay? I'm really good at roller skating." He sighed, but I could see a smile tugging on his lips. "Yeah, sure. We'll go." I was excited! "I can't imagine you or Hotaru skating..." The image popped into my head of both of them skating with a straight face. I smiled to myself and left the room. "Get ready, we're leaving now!"

At the roller skating rink, we all bought our skates and tied them on to our feet. Just as I expected, Hotaru was good at roller skating, although she showed no emotion whatsoever as Ruka struggled to keep standing, laughing the whole time. Natsume and I went into the rink. He was good too, _and _he was actually showing some emotion. Although, it was obvious dislike for this kind of thing. I sighed. If he didn't want to go, he shouldn't have come. "You know, if you don't like skating, you didn't have to come." He thought it over. "I wanted to come because of you, _Polka Dots." _He smirked. Stupid Natsume. "Stop teasing me! I was just trying to be nice, jeez." After a long night of roller skating and playing games, he finally warmed up to the sport. Even Hotaru was smiling. Everyone was having fun, including me. We were having races and playing tag. It came to closing time, and everyone groaned as they took off their rollerskates, rubbing their sore feet.

_Dear Diary,_

_If you haven't already noticed the blood on the page, I'll tell you why it's there. I cut myself today. Not on accident, either. On purpose. It felt good. I now know what my world's like. It's the most wonderful thing I could ever imagine. Nothing else can compare to it. I went roller skating with Natsume, Hotaru, and Ruka today. It was so much fun. I even think Natsume had fun. He had a small smile on his face, He even laughed a couple of times when Ruka (who wasn't a very good skater, might I add) fell. I'm sure he was so happy when he beat me in a race because he tripped me. Cheater. He teased me all night. I wish he'd stop that. He's always so concieted, he even pretends to care, but ends up teasing me. I hate it. Still, I barely know him. He might be much nicer on the inside. Like they always say, don't judge a book by it's cover, even if it's cover is terrible._


	5. Play fun

_My head hanging down,_

_my ears unable to hear anything,_

_my throat unable to scream,_

_my feet unable to move..._

_I don't know if it's a dream or reality,_

_but I'm positive that you were looking at me._

I couldn't understand how I never got what I really wanted. I wanted _everything _and I sincerely thought that I should have it. No matter how many times I prayed, no matter how much work I did, I always awoke unsatisfied, all alone with nothing left for me to hang onto. I was sick of a world like this. So from these feelings, I created my own place. A beautiful world. I noticed that where I am now could never compare to my standards, and that I was stuck somewhere that seemed strange to me. I was an unwelcome guest, who'd traveled from far far away, only to figure out that the place I came to didn't meet my needs.

I woke up with a smile. In the kitchen I could hear the loud clattering of someone probably trying to cook us some breakfast. I got up, leaving the warmth of my bed. I realized how cold the air was as it stung at the uncovered parts of my body. I shivered and quickly changed into my school clothes, throwing the used ones in the hamper. I ran out of the room, getting a whiff of some delicious smelling eggs, which Natsume had cooked. He didn't even say anything as I entered the kitchen, sitting down in my spot at the table. Ruka walked out of his room, entirely dressed and ready to go. "Good morning guys." He crossed his arms. "I thought I was making breakfast today, Natsume." Natsume looked his way, noticing that we were in the room for the first time. "You were taking too long and I was starving." He replied in a bored tone, taking the eggs off of the stove and placing two on everyone's plate. "Thanks." Ruka and I said at the same time. He didn't respond, slowly chewing his eggs. Ruka finished quickly. "Sorry guys, I have to help Hotaru. Bye! " He looked in a hurry, so no one asked what he was up to. "Bye bye, have fun." Is all I said, turning back to look at Natsume who was sitting across from me, chewing with his mouth halfway open. "I wish you wouldn't chew like that... It's kinda gross. You're gonna catch flies you know." He frowned, closing his mouth as he swallowed. "Atleast I'm not a pig who eats her eggs in less than a minute." My mouth, too, hung open. "You're gonna catch flies you know." He said to me. "W-whatever Natsume, don't use the things I say to you on me." With that we both picked up our plates and left for class.

The day was perfectly normal until it hit English class, but that's not entirely a surprise. "Okay class! We are going to be casting parts for Romeo and Juliet!" Naru said cheerfully. The whole class groaned in unison, and I could see Koko smiling. He just loved plays, especially this one. "I've been looking forward to directing this play since my first year of teaching, so don't let me down!" He continued enthusasticly. Didn't he ever get tired of smiling like that? Or crossdressing for that matter. I noticed Natsume was frowning. I quietly tore a piece of paper off of my notebook.

_What's wrong? Don't you like plays? _I threw it straight at him, causing the piece of paper to hit him in the face and bounce off of it onto his desk. He looked at me, extremely angry. He opened up the crumpled mess of paper and read it. He took his pencil out, writing something very quickly.

_Nothing. No. Naru's gonna catch us. _Now I was frowning. What's with that short answer? I scribble something into the paper.

_Whatever Natsume. He won't even see, and I'm on good terms with him anyways. Bye. _I threw it at him. I motioned to him to not write back, as a different clump of paper hit my own head. I looked to see who it was from. Sumire was smiling, looking at read, motioning me to read it. I'd only talked to her a few times, but I just liked her attitude. _So, what part do you hope you get? I hope to get Aroura, which won't be hard, due to my obvious fenimine charm and my amazing acting skills. _She was even more self centered than Natsume was. Speaking of him, he was sitting with his feet on his desk, staring out the window. I sighed. _I don't care what part I get. We all have to try out anyways, so we never know. I hope you get the part you want, Permy._

She looked at what I'd written. she frowned at the last part. _Permy? Just call me Sumire-sama. Juat kidding, you don't have to use the honorific! Of course I'll get that part! How could I not? _Something about the note made me smile. I was happy to have her as a friend like this. This was just a class full of notes, wasn't it. I was pulled from my thinking as Naru called my name, telling me it was my turn to audition. "Suzu-chan, Suzu-chan! Your turn! Hurry up, here's the line!" He smiled a huge smile, with gleaming white teeth showing through as he push the large, heavy script into my hands. I spoke as clearly and tried to get into the character of Juliet.

_I'll look to like, if looking liking move  
But no more deep will I endart mine eye  
Than your consent gives strength to make it fly._

I smiled as everyone clapped. Naru looked at me with wide eyes. "That was a-ma-zing, Suzu-chan!" I blushed, sitting back down in my seat. Oh how I hated attention. Next up was Per- Oops, Sumire. She was probably thinking that she'd be the best actress in the whole world, and I confirmed by looking at her stuck-up face, as she walked down the aisle to the room's small stage. Without saying anything, Naru handed her the script. She took it confidently, and stoof right in the middle of the stage.

_O um comfortable ... uh, friar! w-where is my lord?  
I do remember ...well where I should be ugh,  
And... there I am. Where is my R-romeo?_

She stumbled over many lines. Naru had to encourage her to keep going many times. She looked as if she was about to cry. I smiled at her softly, just to cheer her up. We locked eyes on eachother and she smiled back at me. There, she's happier now. After a few other performences from people I'd only known from their faces, It was apparently Natsume's turn. "Natsume-kun! Your turn! Time to play as Romeo~" Naru said with the same enthusiam he had for me.

_Alack! there lies more peril in thine eye _

_Than twenty of their swords: look thou but sweet,_

_And I am proof against their enmity._

He was flawless as he spoke those words. It felt like he really was Romeo, those words were said with such strong emotion. He was _good. _More than good, maybe even _amazing. _It really kinda... weirded me out? It was strange seeing him so out of his normal, bored character. He sat back down as the class clapped very loudly for him. He didn't even seem to notice the attention, unlike me who blushed tomato red at the sound of even a small clap. But, that's who he was. He was used to this kind of attention from girls everywhere he went. To tell you the truth, it made even me a little bit jealous. What was I saying? I was barely even this guy's friend. But, I won't lie. It's how I feel.

_Dear Diary,_

_Natsume really, and I mean REALLY, surprised me today with his performance of Romeo for the play 'Romeo and Juliet'. Naru wanted us to perform it as a school production, and he chose to drag all of us into it. I wonder what part everyone'll get. I'm sure Natsume will get Romeo, whether he likes it or not. I'm still cutting myself, you know. It feels better than anticipated. It's my whole world, from just a single, painless wound. I hope it never heals. Don't you just love this season, though? The sky seems different, even it is basked in the color of fall. Orange... It seems happy, although the cold chills you to the bone. As long as I'm with others for now, I'll be happy. I'll just have to wait out my time here until I can go into my own, real world. I had fun today. The auditions were funny, especially when Koko fell off the stage, and when Luna got lipstick smeared all over her face. I was able to laugh. That's all that matters to me._


End file.
